JoanDee`ism. ♥

True true

2011-12-12T15:58:00.000+08:00

Hell yeah!

2011-09-09T22:58:00.003+08:00

Hi bloggie,
Long time no see.

Im here to rant.

I'm homeless.

And it sucks.

And I'm tired.

And noone can understands this.

It's making me really upset.

Been staying at J's house for the past few days/weeks.

Then something's going on in J's place, I bumped into E's place.

And it sucks, because E thinks that I'm only there coz I can't bumped in J's place.

I want my own place. I want my own home. I want my own room.

Do you know the comfort zone that you room provides you? That however long you're away, but when you're there, you know it's right.

It's not only that. My social commitment is killing me. I have to slot in some time for everyone.

I'm so tired and it's sucking up all my energy. It sucks to drive an hour to work and another hour to go home.

There's this thing called the Social Hierarchy where you place whoever's more important on top of the list and you work your way down. What Im referring too is allocating time for them.

I hardly have time for myself anymore.

When Im home from work, I have to plan my attire and breakfast for tomorrow and after dinner, I just want to sleep. I work from 10am to 7pm from Sunday to Thursday. When I'm home, whoever's house is it, I just want to rest. But I'm not getting it. I'm trying to fulfill my social obligation towards whoever's house I'm staying. And mind you, when J wanted to watch an episode of Vampire Diaries, I was so reluctant and yet, I said okay and watched til the end. After that, I knocked out within 60 seconds and remembered nothing.

This is the type of exhausted where I start getting backache all the time and constantly becoming a whiny bitch. I am at the point where I can just blow my top any moment. And yet, I contained it all. Last night, I really really couldnt tolerate it anymore, I cried to sleep. It was a night of self pity. Where you kept thinking of how sucky life it, and can't count my own blessings at all.

Work is difficult and I hate it when I cant get things right or do it myself. I placed in even more efforts. I skipped lunch everyday, because when everyone's not in office, I tend to be more productive. By 6pm, I can feel the lethargic-ness kicking in already. And the thought of getting stuck in another hour in the traffic jam, pushed the depression to an even lower level.

I have so many friends to allocate time too now. Plus with new colleagues and all, I can't slot it. My girls have this thing called the Saturday brunch, where we all must empty our calendar for luncheon together. Tomorrow is a Saturday. I have this luncheon with them, and later, I have to attend my colleague's house warming party which involves alcohol and so on. And at night, I have to attend my high school friend's farewell to Taiwan. I dont know what to do. I cant say no to any of those. I hardly see Rafique and Terence anymore because I dont have the time and energy. When E was in Shanghai, all I had to do was manage J. But with work at all, I cant even manage J alone. Now with all back here in KL, I don't know what to do anymore.

Basically, it's not really much of an issue, but it's all sucking up the happiness in me. I hope everything would be fine. I know, for sure, that I will be able to cope with this and I will definitely rock this. I need to hang on to it until everything settles down to a comfortable level. I don't know when, but it will come.

All I want now, is my own zone. I really need my time alone. My time off. My moments.

Im juggling with work and blogshop and workload is even crazier because partner was away. After reaching the parking lot in my office, I stayed in my car and replies all the emails and my toilet breaks. After that I got to pack and get it all ready for deliveries. Honestly, it's tired. It's tiring that I constantly have to plan my schedule. I cannot give everyone and everything a part of me, because right now, it's killing me.

2011-08-31T20:49:00.000+08:00

testing1,2,3

www.decemberthirtytwo.com

BBQ

2011-08-22T02:06:00.000+08:00

I hosted an Awesome BBQ party at evvon's.

Most pictures are in Facebook.

I'm at a point in life where I don't know what to blog.

Life's been pretty good, except the fact that my Islamic banking result will be out this Friday.

Shoes spree

2011-08-22T02:04:00.000+08:00

I like buying footwear :)

Can't say no to this pretty ladies!

2011-07-13T22:15:00.000+08:00

The crazy duo..

*was referring to my sister and I8

in action!

We think we're greater than any other chefs!

Muahahaha.

We prepared a feast!

We made the guacamole for the nachos

We roasted lemon and herb chicken too.

And pasta too.

Check the prewwwttty chicken!

There you go,

we have a feast!

Me love nachos like mad!

THE CHICKEN!

Yummyy!

The pasta was so-so :D

The next day,

we tried baking a blueberry cake!

The first layer

The second layer

The cream and blueberries

Muahahaahahah

Nice, isn't it?

ta ddah!

Jason don't believe it!

Wanna have a slice of our heaven? :D

2011-07-13T22:07:00.000+08:00

Just for fun :)

2011-07-13T22:01:00.001+08:00

Took the next flight home on the day of my last paper

And a few days later, I'm in Langkawi.

Mum, Uncle Naim and myself went to Langkawi.
Mind you, we got the entire upper deck to ourselves!

The two ladies enjoying the wind

Upon arrival,

They had to do some work and went to the office.
And they dumped me at a dead shopping mall.

The only thing I had with me,

Was my cookie monster.

Then off to the Langkawi Yatch Club for lunch

Suprisingly, there were most Asian food than Western.

After lunch,

We went fishing.

It was really hot, and I caught only two!

The evening view when we're gonna go back home :)

My prewwtty slippers!

Okay, the emphasis wasnt on my face. It's on the earrings :p

How can one not drink in Langkawi right?

Oh well, all I had was a bottle.

Sad, isn't it?

Mum was dead tired and KO-ed.

And cookie monster accompanied me til late night.

And the next time,

We went for yatch hunting

Coz mummy's friend wanna get one

The weather is darn hot.

We went back after that.

It was a business trip for mummy and I just tagged along and she brought me fishing.

Nothing much.

2011-07-13T21:47:00.001+08:00

POKER NIGHT!

Muahahaaha. I have our own poker team already!

Lup Yan picked me up in his Honda Insight.

It's so pretty inside there!

This time,

the game was horrifying!

This guy.....

Really...

His got quads.

And this time,

I lost.

And mind you, I lost all my buy in within the hour.. or less.

And a nice guy, named Jia Loong said..

Nah, Joandee, I give u some chips to play.

LOL

2011-07-13T21:41:00.001+08:00

Before going back Alor Star, I went on a drinking spree.
And it got bad. :)

It all started in Zouk4play.
Ivy, Janics and I went on a crazy drinking spree.
And I don't recall being this wasted for the longest time ever.

Instead of drunk dialling me (*I dont do that), I spammed a bunch of craps on whatsapp. I don't even remember whatever I was writing, and mind you, the next day I tried reading what I wrote.
I can't understand a single word. Pity someone got worried over it

It was like that the whole night.

One hand Moet, another hand Heineken.

And shots.

Pfft.....!

The next day, I was supposed to go for 7aste.

It's the event I'll never miss.

But I did missed it this time.

I was sobering up from a horrible hangover.

There goes my Friday.

On Saturday,

It was the GT Sepang Rave Party

The troops went in 3 cars.

Henry picked Evvon and Michelle up.

Jia Loong picked me with Cynthia

Ivy and Janics in another car.

We didnt enjoy it and off to Zouk.

And I was pulling a long face the whole night,

coz I was hungry!

_____________________________________

I took a picture of this and sent it to a friend.

He sent this back to me.

HAHAHAHAA. I laughed my butt off.

One of them

2011-07-13T21:09:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna say this like how other people say it

WHY YOU SO CUTE?
WHY YOU NO LIKE ME?

Instead of
Why are you so cute?
Why don't u like me?

HAHA. Just being funny :)

Hospital, again.

2011-07-13T20:37:00.000+08:00

My sister had high fever and was admitted for observation.
Being the loyal sister, I stayed with her, without realizing that I might even fall sick too!

Hehe. Anyway she's all fine and annoying already ;)

December32

2011-07-13T20:36:00.000+08:00

When was the last time you dropped by our humble blogshop?

We are already in batch9!

Pink day!

2011-07-13T20:33:00.000+08:00

Baskin Robbin pink day!

Took two bites and threw away;) guilty weh!

Vanity moment

2011-07-13T20:32:00.000+08:00

Was lazying at the deck outside. And caught a reflection of myself on the cabinet. Muahahahhaaaa.

2011-07-06T00:02:00.003+08:00

Current fav: Next to you by Chris Brown.

I hardly blog now, coz I have instagram to say it all, and twitter to blast it all.

But I'm not even active in any of those.

Life's been messing me recently, I think more to me messing it all up right now.

Since having iPhone, I hardly have any time for myself, being constantly connected to the internet with emails, Facebook notifications, twitter notifications, SMS, messages on Instagram, LiveProfile and etc.

Geeez! Typing it out sounds terrible!
I should lock my phone in the safe one day and try living internetless.

The only thing I can't live without now, is my phone.
That's the problem. The anxiety I go through thinking on what will be on my phone will kill me there and then.

Im happy now, to be honest.
I have a few other problems to be worried about, but at least I'm happy.

I'm very close to the end of Uni life. I'm back in hometown, being able to devote my time and energy to do something the house. Having no man at home, cant sometimes be a little pain as I have to do all the repairation.

I've started painting the house today. It looks cleaner. I've repaired the vaccuum cleaner, which I promised to do it previous holiday. I've fixed the karaoke in Mummy's room for her leisure. This I had promise her a few holidays ago. Today, I've just settled into my room. For the past 12 months, I was sleeping in the spare bedroom because the air conditioner was cooler. But it broke down a few days back and we got the repairman to fix the air con in all the rooms. So I'm back in my own room. I'm so happy and I can't wait to clean and clear the room. During those 12 months, mum turned my room into her dressing room. So everything is a mess now.

All the electric points at home needs to be fixed, but I dont know how to do it. It's frustrating when I dont know how to do things, because noone else does.

Painting the house itself will take me days to finish, plus I cant reach most areas and will need mummy's friends to help me out. I need to change the showerhead in the toilet, coz it's broken. The toilet bowl cover in mum's room is broken too. Maid's toilet light bulb needs to be changed.

Then, I have to clean those sticker sticky leftovers on the car windscreen coz mum doenst know how too.

I guess those are it, for now.

Now that I'm home. I can't neglect this anymore.

The bedroom

2011-06-28T16:23:00.000+08:00

Holy crap!
This is a two bedroom yatch! So fun!

We will rent it soooon to go Kai Kai nearby :)

Uncle naim!

2011-06-28T16:22:00.000+08:00

Meet uncle naim!
I've known since forever!

Hehe! Super funny picture of him, pretending to drive the yatch!

P/s: the yatch was stationary!

Kick ass weather

2011-06-28T16:21:00.000+08:00

It's so hot! I'm gonna die!

Help! *melts*

Cookie monster

2011-06-27T01:15:00.000+08:00

He makes me smile everyday.

GT Sepang Rave

2011-06-20T18:36:00.000+08:00

3 cars convoy to Sepang for the apparently biggest outdoor rave party.

We were disappointed.

2011-06-19T19:43:00.001+08:00

I've discovered that,

the only thing that had changed is that I began sharing and telling.

And today, my biggest fear came true.

Now I have to suck it all in. Back to square one.

Never ever share. No one will ever understands.

The hair comparison

2011-06-16T16:17:00.000+08:00

Guess what were we trying to do?

Compare hair length !! Hahahhahaah!

Hanny baby

2011-06-16T01:31:00.000+08:00

I miss u!

Cute little Cynthia

2011-06-16T01:27:00.000+08:00

Look at what cyn tweet to me! Super adorable!

2011-06-15T20:11:00.011+08:00

Hello there.

I've been surpressing some feelings inside and RIGHT now, I'm just gonna let some steam out.

I'm been juggling and running around here and there.
But hey, I'm 22.
I'm not gonna settle down anytime soon, right?

You see.

I am 22. Graduating soon.
No job. No plans.
I dont even know where will I be.
Whether if it's in KL or Alor Setar.
I don't know how am I gonna settle down for the next 6months.

And honestly.
I find myself in a difficult position.
I met someone who is a little mysterious.
And he is mind screwing me now.
I am super agitated when someone tries mind screwing me.

I would love to play mind games,
But you know I've just got out of two mind games.
And now the process repeats over itself.

I don't know whether to avoid,
Or just chill and play along.
I am so tired. So so tired.

I hope he don't reads this.

A preewty little thing.

2011-06-15T17:18:00.001+08:00

While waiting for my Chanel to arrive,
I spotted a pretty little thing.

This is for my iPhone :)

Soon, baby.

2011-06-10T22:28:00.005+08:00

Just decided to blog today,

It's been sometime since I blogged properly from Blogger.com.

I'm in my final semester already, finished a paper, and another 3 more to go.

I don't know what to do with my life after that.

I want to say more over here, but I can't.

It's a part of growing up.

I miss baby hann and Tommy.

Lazy friend

2011-06-10T14:17:00.000+08:00

Meet Evvon, my lazy friend.

IM study group

2011-06-10T14:16:00.000+08:00

Hosted the study group again, where I played the teacher!

I gave them a tiny piece of paper and told them to scribble some questions.

They were so protective over their answer, covering it up. Don't wanna let the others see it. Super cute right?

The Funny friend

2011-06-10T14:14:00.000+08:00

A funny friend said im the shorter tree n he is the taller one.

And so I said, 'i don't mind since you're the one who have a higher probability of getting strike by lightning.

And then he said, 'u have more leaves. It'll most prolly strike u.'

Lol. Apa theory! More leaves, strike me, then what? More things to burn?'

All smile

2011-06-10T14:11:00.001+08:00

I bought a pair Peep toe heels n a pair of black wedges.

I love the peep toe so much, wondering when will I be wearing it.

Newest addiction

2011-06-09T05:37:00.000+08:00

Remember not too long ago, I was hooked to Evony for 18months?

I started dota.

And still learning.

Leon played one round to show me, and I will practiced til I reach that level.

You know how obsessed I could be with games.

Unnatural

2011-06-08T23:41:00.000+08:00

Redefining the term natural, incoming, ongoing, leading, provoking, injecting, misleading, inviting and welcoming.

Suddenly everything becomes unnatural and unrealistic.

Separated by a virtual line.

The virtual line no longer symbolize the border/limitation/boundaries.

The unnatural natural.

It's keeping my head occupied.
Don't mind me, noone is supposed to understand.

chatime

2011-06-01T02:57:00.000+08:00

The latest buzz right now is chatime, this bubble tea from taiwan.

I think it's nice but I don't understand what the craze is all about. It's nice, yeah, that's it. Not mega awesome or anythin like that. I ordered extra pearl!

Drama

2011-06-01T02:55:00.000+08:00

Don't you for a moment there, think that all three of them studying hard!!

We created a study group on whatsapp and there's an intensive discussion on what to have for dinner. And then they started spamming on emoticons.

All those conversation occurring in the same word without a word spoken. The power of electronics :D

The last polka

2011-06-01T02:53:00.000+08:00

I went to Taylor to do some
COD and at the same time, dropped off some book at Wai Kong's place for Meng Loong. He's been calling me non stop, bugging me about the book. There you go, task done :)

Then I had this homemade ice-cream at the campus. The place is called The Last Polka. I ordered two types; Guiness and the peanut butter and malt. Oh my heaven XD

Sunway buddy

2011-06-01T02:51:00.001+08:00

Now that Janics is grounded, Cheryl moved to Kota Damansara, and Rafique moved to Bangi. Cyn is my only friend left nearby who I can count on to have fun :)))

I've been spending so much time w her. We used to be the two who dont owned a car, and now her daddy let her drive!

And she can pick me up to uni too!

Tee heee! On a second thought, when I have a car, I'll need to drive everyone to return the favor -.-

HAHAHHAHAHAAA!!

Two sisters.

2011-05-25T21:29:00.001+08:00

Notice: Both the boys belong to my sister.

All I can is Hann is so friggin adorable.
Both are drama kings.

Vanity day 2

2011-05-25T02:31:00.000+08:00

I was feeling vain again.
So yeah, I took another 6 pictures and made it into a collage.

I likeeey this so much that I made it into my profile picture. I'm not used to being this vain or blogging about myself. Just bear with me for a other day or two and it'll go away :D

I wanna blog something else:

I'm feeling better after being home for 7days. It feels great. I'm going back tomorrow, but I don't feel like it.

Oh well...

Instagram rejection

2011-05-25T02:28:00.001+08:00

Instagram rejected my 6picture picture. I could only put up a 4picture picture.

The apps to make this is : collage
First effect: camera+
second effect: instagram

Collage

2011-05-25T02:26:00.000+08:00

U see, when u have a camera phone, a wide variety of apps and some free time, together with some mood....
You tend to be a little vain.

I camwhored XD

That's the effect of studying for 6 hours. :)

FaceTime

2011-05-25T02:25:00.001+08:00

Ever since Evvon got her iPad, she has been video calling me a few times a day. It reached to a level that we are 'hanging out' inthe virtual world.
Take this picture for example. We are both at home, but drinking beer and chit chatting.

We are innovators in the product life cycle.
We are the futuristics XD

Bangun pagi, gosok Gigi

2011-05-25T02:22:00.001+08:00

I don't know why, but I'm more vain today than ever.
Hahaha! I took a picture while brushing my teeth.
This is because I got hooked to instagram.
I wanted to capture everything!

The rotten hair

2011-05-25T02:20:00.001+08:00

This is what happens when u dye your hair repeatedly over a long period of time.
Every morning, I have to tame this monster.
But I prefer this than my flat, lifeless hair.

Call me adventurous ;))

Funny mummy

2011-05-22T16:58:00.001+08:00

Me: mummy mummy! U know what I feel like eating?
Mum: what?
Me: I wanna eat pizza hut!
Mum: u can't eat a pizza hut. It's a shop.
Me: fine. I wanna eat pizza.
Mum: *silent*

-30 minutes later. I was lying on sofa reading notes-

Mum: Joandee! Come follow mummy to accountant office to collect something
Me: no.
Mum: after that we go buy mask and facial stuff.
Me: no.
Mum: after that we eat pizza?
Me: *runs upstairs to change* wait for me!!!

2011-05-20T16:46:00.000+08:00

I wanna blog. But I dont know how to blog about you.

Haha. You surprised me with ur outburst. I'm still laughing at it now.

And yes, what you said are all true.

You're stuck to me for the next one month.

Im gonna have to sleep very late, and you will have to wake up very early.

Photos

2011-05-19T03:42:00.000+08:00

You. Really. ..

The carbonara maker

2011-05-17T23:42:00.000+08:00

Aw... Someone cooked lunch for me from scratch! First time weh! I find it really really cool!

Made his own carbonara! Impressive weh! *clap clap*

No sauces or artificial blah blah blah.

Hello buddy, and stop picking a fight

2011-05-17T20:22:00.000+08:00

Hellllooo mat tahir.

Been quite some time since I saw him and decided to yumcha with him.

He picked a fight with me few weeks back. Grr.....!!

Anyway, it's fine now and I still sayang u! Be good and faster finish ur exam :)

Apple bottom jeans

2011-05-17T20:20:00.000+08:00

My cute little apples.
The two guys just got to menyampuk their hand into the picture

I call it the apple bottom jeans.

Cute, right?

Brussels

2011-05-17T20:19:00.000+08:00

I went to Brussels for a drink!

Was recommended to try chimay. Sounds nice, taste not so nice. Alcohol quite high for beer at 9%.

I'm at the airport right now, feeling dead tired. I just want to sleep now. I feel drugged. Mu flight had been delayed. It's killing me. I'm sleeepy.

2011-05-16T03:55:00.001+08:00

It's 3.40am. And I'm so so soo depresssssss right now.Two organizations had requested for me to submit my resume. I opened my resume and scanned through all the items. I dont know how to do with it.I feel so hopeless. I have spent so much time, trying to beautify and nearly killed myself trying to be someone and not just anyone. I tried to stand out and live up to expectations.Who sets the expectation?It's none other than myself.But when I cant live up to it, I can't accept it.It's this really hard slam on me.I'm so screwed up.I'm stuck somewhere between here and there.And it's making me really upset.But there is really nothing I could do.Im really thinking.Why did I choose Monash? Why not just any Tom Dick and Harry universities that
don't go around killing their students?I dont like what I have done. My results are so so-so.It's no where close to good.I have nothing to show.One of the organization even requested for my SPM for their special training programme.I feel so hopeless.You know the thing about mothers?They have expectations and they are always proud.And I don't have the heart to disappoint her.I dont have to heart to let her know if I've screwed up anything.I dreamt that I murdered somethingYou know what was the most significant part of the dream?I went the stress and hellhole alone, without letting my mum know.My sis and brother werent even in the dream.Every verdict I was sentenced, the pain was on the level of disappointment thatmy family will have to go through.And even more recently, I've learnt thatI'm already 22.I can't cry in front of my mum anymore.No matter what had happened There was this one occasion few weeks backwhen I was extremely close to allowing my tears to overflow,but I couldnt.I controlled so friggin hardI have under a lot of stress, desperate for achievements.And today..I looked back to it all,I still feel very empty.It's as if I'm wasted all those time, energy, stress, heartbeats and all for nothing.It's the disappointment within myself that kicking me.I don't know why am I like thatI think I'm going crazy.I'm home today.My housemates are away. The house is quiet. My heart is quiet. I feel quiet. It does feels quiet. I have nothing to show.I looked as if I have something,but as I digI'm just an empty vessel making a whole lot of noise.

The reason why I merge it all up, because I want to tell, but at the same time,Idont want people to read it.

2011-05-15T21:05:00.000+08:00

"enjoying the fact got scandal in his life rather than looking to resolve it."

how do u respond to this if this is referring to you?

dumb.

2011-05-15T20:54:00.000+08:00

Just dropping by to blog about Hennessy Artistry.

Had a fab night with:

Evvon, Ivy, Cynthia, Michelle, Janics, Melvin, Jason, Flanz, Lillian and the unknown guy.

It was hot.

Wouldnt mind another night of free flow :)

I have an exam coming soon.

Please wish me luck.

First official night with Mimi!

2011-05-14T05:06:00.001+08:00

Hello mimi!!

Our first official picture.

Goodnight!

IMC

2011-05-13T04:02:00.000+08:00

Did two bloody hours of intensive research on my IMC assignment.

I was really hoping to be able to shove the workload away. But the more I read, the more workload is thrown on me.

Life's.a. ..

Morning ivy!

2011-05-13T04:01:00.000+08:00

I woke up with her entering the room, with her textbooks in her hands.

Morning ;)

Jenric said u looked as if uve just swallowed a mouthful of orange jello <3

Crazy usage

2011-05-13T03:54:00.000+08:00

Noone believed me when I said I use 3 to 5GB of Internet on my phone.

This is the proof as of today. I was in Bangkok for 3 nights since ive reset.

An old friend

2011-05-12T08:54:00.000+08:00

I'm having a debate within myself, whether to follow feelings or brain. A lot of people Got screwed up when they left their brain in their butt. I don't want to be so, but.. I said but, there's another side in me who wants to be stupid and carefree rather than being such a rigid and structured bitch.

I don't want to win all the time, I want to fall at times too and let others pick me up. But being myself with my ego, personality and brain, I tend to be overprotecting and over thinking. When I fall, I won't tell a single soul. When I fall, I'll not cry in public. When I fall, I will not let anyone judge me as I will stand firm on the ground knowing that I will be fine.

I am quite determine in certain stuffs. I can brainwash myself 30times ady till I succeed.

Out of topic ady.

..................

Thank you for being such a great friend.

I appreciate that.
I appreciate the way u protect and defend me.

It's nice to know.

The Royal Kidnaper is back

2011-05-11T04:34:00.001+08:00

I have a new nickname for Terence Foong!
He will know be known as the royal Kidnaper!

Quick money soon?

Skybar + fast five

2011-05-11T04:27:00.001+08:00

Carebear brought me to Pavillion to catch Fast 5.

The movie was at 11.10pm and he picked me up from kepong at 9.45pm, coz coincidently he was passing by kepong.

Guess where he kidnapped me too?

Skybar! My first time there and I feel stupid. How could I party so much in KL but never been to sky bar?! But hey, I've been to Luna Bar. Surprisingly, only my dates would bring me to these places. Where are my girls?!

Anyway, had a beer and nachos. FYI, nachos there sucks big time! We talked about some stuffs and yes, u are not forgiven and it won't be anytime soon.

We left the place at 10.55pm and managed to enter the cinema even before the trailer part begins :))

Fast 5 is good, but I was a little sleepy at the beginning. I bet it's the beer!

To do list

2011-05-11T04:22:00.001+08:00

I woke up, and found an A4 sized to do list, plastered on the wall.

Geez. Wat a morning greeting!

2011-05-11T04:17:00.001+08:00

It's 4.05am in the morning and I just want to blog on my recent nightmares.

Few days ago, I dreamt that I witnessed a tsunami. I saw the huge waves coming at me. And all I thought was how to save my mum, sister and nephews. I ran to the shops and bought floats and oxygen tanks! *I could think quite well in my dreams, it seemed* I saw the disaster unfold before my very eyes. And how it swept people away like swapping flies. This is not the first time I had a tsunami dream. It is horrifying. Coz I have to kept thinking on how to survive. I need to fight for my own life in my dreams. I ran, swim, scared all the time and constantly changing scenes. One moment I was at the beach, and then I'm at the hotel, or in a building or just standing at the hill top, seeing hundreds of bodies floating and washed away.

Just yesterday, I dreamt I murdered someone. I accidentally killed him using a spade. The horrifying part is not his death, but the fact that I've lost everything in my life coz I've murdered someone. My records are stained with prison stamp. Every single thing that I worked for, became meaningless. And I'm a criminal.

I admitted to a bunch of people that I was the murderer and they tries to figure out how my court case would be like. As I hear them voicing out their opinion on my sentence and is there any way I could avoid being charged, I regretted the moment the I admitted the murder.

I wanted to call my mum up. But I couldnt do it. I couldn't bear the idea of telling my mum that I've murdered someone and will be charged and sentenced to prison. How do I open my mouth and tell her?

I kept this heavy secret to myself and fought the legal activities all by myself without informing anyone. The burden was overwhelming.

How do u hide the fact that uve admitted to people that uve murdered a person? It was a stressful nightmare, no doubt.

I've had a fair share of nightmares recently and I could really use some good sleep tonightz.

I'm done expressing myself. I hope to have a dreamless sleep tonight.

Lloyd thinks I'm going through some depression. Fml.

Squeeze me!

2011-05-11T02:26:00.001+08:00

Mummy!
Please please!!

Squeeze me!!

Sequeeezeee me!!

"it has healing properties"

2011-05-06T22:53:00.000+08:00

LOL!

What a cute little person.

Mum's day pressie

2011-05-06T15:53:00.001+08:00

This is the very first time I bought a mum's day pressie for mummy w my own money.

When I was much much younger (6-8yrs old), I would go around digging for unwanted stuffs at home and gift wrap it for mummy.

I got her a gift set of Flora by Gucci. Very flowerish small. My mum is a hand lotion and shower gel freak. Fortunately the gift set came with a perfume, shower gel and hand lotion. I love the smell.

Mummy came to KL te next day, passed to her and she liked it!

You know what's funny? I bought her a Revlon lipstick because I heard her complaining that she had used up all her lip color.

So when I gave it to her, she stopped and stared at the lipstick for some time. Then she said wait. Then she went to the table and rummage through a Guardian plastic bag. Guess what? She bought the very same color a few hours before I gave her.

Out of the hundreds of colors and brands.

We went to change another color for her ;)

** on a side note, I had a very bad week and went to my mum for the first time, expecting her to help me. But she told me to just relax and drop it. I said, no and fine if u don't want to interfere. The next thing I knew, she settled it all with a phone call. She is a miracle worker !

I'm coming for u soon, baby!

2011-05-06T15:13:00.000+08:00

Hennessy artistry

2011-05-01T21:37:00.000+08:00

Hello girls :)

Mwa mwa.

Someone puked
Someone fell
Someone high
Someone tipsy
Someone cute
Someone adorable
Someone pretty
Someone interested

Who cares? Loves. :)

Capturing the moment

2011-05-01T21:08:00.001+08:00

This is a memorable picture. You know why? It's the first time we took a picture. Just us two.

Together with my mega high heels, someone became short :)

I should have made u wore my heels for me that night !!

Damn. Why does he still have to look so good?

Useless ex boyfie :D

Genting, again!

2011-05-01T21:02:00.001+08:00

A morning call came in at 7.15am and he told me to get ready.

Guess what? I was royally kidnapped by Terence Foong to genting.

And yes, we won :)

Protected

2011-05-01T21:00:00.001+08:00

Last night was a great night at the hennessy artistry eventhough it was boiling hot.

The night ended when everyone wanted me to go Zouk and I couldn't because mummy was at home alone.

And they started chanting. Isn't that cute?

Suddenly Jia Loong crossed my mind.

One night in the club when I was upset, he tugged my shirt and asked, why are u upset?

Tell me who bully you. Let's go beat him up now.

Haha. Thank you JL.

Train to Bangkok!

2011-04-27T17:00:00.000+08:00

Greetings!

Mummy and I are on the train now heading to Bangkok :)

There are more Ang moh in the train than Malaysian.

Later in the evening, the train keeper will make arrangements that all the seats will be made into beds :))

A confused little head

2011-04-26T16:34:00.001+08:00

One moment he tells me things are difficult when I'm not talking to him.

Another moment, he said he had no idea I was at a cold war with him.

Straits quay

2011-04-26T16:02:00.000+08:00

The weather these few days is crazy.

I'm very close to going nuts.

I met up with Wei Jie recently. Been a good 6 years since we've last seen each other.

Went to Strait Quay for a drink at a German bar. And we sat outside facing the sea. And hell, I was sweating there.

At night, mind you !

The strait quay is just a two minutes drive from my place in Penang and I've just discovered!!

Jaded

2011-04-25T01:02:00.001+08:00

jaded

The end result of having a steady flow of negative experiences, disappointment, and unfulfillment fed into a person where they get to the point where their anger circuits just sort of burn out and they accept disillusionment.

The little family trip!

2011-04-24T23:20:00.001+08:00

Flew to Penang on Friday for a small family trip with mum, sis, jian, hann and the maid.

Check my little two boys sleeping on our way back to alor star! and how much shopping my sister had done for her new house. Mum went back a day earlier.

In memory of my first time getting drunk

2011-04-24T23:03:00.001+08:00

This picture was taken when I was 16.

Mum and sis tried getting me drunk and had successfully done it.

Now it's hung on top of the wine cellar.

Such a sweet memory.

Did I mentioned that they tried getting me drunk 16 hours before my flight?

2011-04-24T18:35:00.002+08:00

Today.

I've lost my composure.

I've deactivated my twitter.

Too much shits.

2011-04-23T01:09:00.001+08:00

"Best Thing You Never Had"

Hello how you doing?

What's it like to ruin all my self esteem

Let me blow off some steam

For 5 years I've waited,

So why am I jaded to get back at you

What makes it cool

When you act like nothing ever happened

I feel like I should feel bad

But I can't like someone who thought

They're the only one that mattered

I hope that you're flattered

Cause you broke this down

The best thing that you never had

And it seems like a loss somehow

My heart got lost on the way to my head

And my brain cells are dead

And the craziness shows

Now I start to go when the green turns to red

And I should be dead

When you act like nothing ever happened

I feel like I should feel bad

But I can't like someone who thought

They're the only one that mattered

While my heart got shattered like romantic roadkill

My heart is all splattered your ego got fatter

And I hope that you're flattered

Cause you broke this down

The best thing that you never had

Like the toilet seat never got lifted

And I pissed on your confidence

When you weren't around, how can that be?

Don't turn this around

You were the one

Who drove my ass right to the ground

When you act like nothing ever happened

I feel like I should feel bad, and I can't like

Someone who thought

They're the only one that mattered

While my heart got shattered like romantic roadkill

My heart is all splattered your ego got fatter

And I hope that you're flattered

Cause you broke this down

You broke this down

The best thing, the best thing,

The best thing that you never had

You never had...

Wah lao weh

2011-04-21T16:04:00.001+08:00

I sooooo wanna strangle you right now. So so wanna strangle you!!

Wah laooo. I can't believe this! I just so can't believe. All those emo talk. Omfg. You.... .... .....!!! How could you!!

Wah laoooooooooo!!!

You just know where to push the button. You really really do.

Wah Lao wehhhh! Damn 7 lam em dou yeh.

All those babi excuses. Watch me.

2011-04-21T00:46:00.000+08:00

A brief thank you for all of you.

Thank you for coming.

Lots of loves and adorations to,

Mummy

For coming all the way from Alor Star just to be here for me,

to be proud of me, no matter what.

Thank you,mummy.

Evvon

For being such a good friend and supporting my actions,

whoever unhappy she is over my work load.

Never once complain, and always there to help.

Thanks

Ivy

For being a good companion for the past 10 months

and bringing me out to parties and fun

knowing that I'm always alone at Sunway and feeling bored.

Thank you

Cheryl

For taking the initiatives to drive all the way there after work

and sharing the moment with me

Thank you, even for buying a new dresss

Michelle

For also driving and rushing over after work,and being supportive

even after being in Australia for quite some time and we're not that close like the rest :)

Thanks a lot

Janics

For helping me out from the Pilot Project and offering me freelance jobs whenever opportunity arises

for always being so considerate of everyone's feeling and being sweet all the time

thank you for that :)

Cynthia

For rushing home, dressing up and picking my mummy and helping me with those without transportation

to this event with me

Thank youu

Addy

For accompanying Cynthia to this event to share a moment of my life with me,

I thank you for that.

Terence

For rushing from KL to Sunway, to dress appropriately,

then back to PJ eventhough he is sick and not well and yet taking every initiatives to

be here for me and being disappointed :p
I trully thank you for that.

Henry

For helping me bring my girls to this event and constantly asking about my project

and sharing the same level of proudness in this

Thank you

Jia Loong

For buying a new attire for this and even wearing a tie

"Hey, I haven't took any picture with JD. I bought this shirt for you le!"

Noted on that, and many thanks for coming and supporting

Thank you

Jason

For being such a sweetie to come to this without a slight hesitation and issues

Thank you

Melvin

For coming here even though facing some form of "obstacles" prior to this:)

Thank you

Aaron

For always being so supportive and proud of me all the time

for always being so nice, kind, and sweet to me

and walking me hoom up to my house door

Thank you so much

Ivan

For sharing this with me, and for all the ups and downs that we went though

we somehow managed to survive the war

Thank you

Lastly,

Rafique

For fighting this war with me,

I thank you.

And I know some of you out there,

who were unable to be there.

I appreciate your thought and intention.

Thanks.

2011-04-20T15:09:00.000+08:00

My dear fat ugly sister called me at 8.20am and told me that I'm on the newspaper.
Something on Monash.

Too lazy to buy a paper. She tagged me there :)

Weee......!

FaceTime

2011-04-19T23:20:00.001+08:00

Why would anyone use an iPhone 4 without utilizing the FaceTime application?

I tried FaceTime with Evvon. She was using her brother's.

Haha. We were laughing our butts off. That's me in my tweety bird jammies. XD

And that's Evvon on the sofa!

After that I FaceTime with Dominic. He's in France right now and he could FaceTime with 3G and i did it with wifi. Darn.

Evvon

2011-04-19T21:25:00.000+08:00

Hello aubrey. U know very well I'm smart.

Xoxo. Penguin

Am I being bias?

2011-04-18T00:51:00.001+08:00

I'm sorry weh. I thought this guy is the bad guy, but somehow the media seems to like his charming looks and smile. What sort of joke is this?

You friggin entice someone else's wife and you don't think ur guilty?

Eventhough Chong may have acted irrationally by going directly to court instead of sorting it all out of court. But still, u don't feel guilty? I'm surprised that u wife stood by you, and how do your family face the humiliation of their father getting caught having an affair?

Your children will also have to face all these leftovers of your. And ur not guilty that this Chong also have to go through this whole process because you can't control your thing.

Why you, ish! Pissed me off.

Ming-night view

2011-04-18T00:38:00.001+08:00

And a few hours later, he sent me a photo at night :))

2011-04-18T00:37:00.002+08:00

Ming sent me a photo from his bedroom of the evening view.

It's bloody beautiful right? It's in Canada. I hate him.

2011-04-17T02:05:00.000+08:00

You still cross my mind every now and then.

*****************************************

Went for a high school gathering.

Learnt a lot.

Debating the importance of education now.

Learnt that many are striving and doing well in life, without a degree.

While I'm kicking my own life trying to get a degree and an awesome resume.

Again, what is right?

*********************************************

Made a mistake once, not gonna make a twice.

The tension is still there.

I'm still smiling.

Goodbye.

Aww !

2011-04-13T00:01:00.000+08:00

This little boy has returned from his offshore work and just told me that on Sunday!

Now he's sick! Padan muka!

I saw this picture! Thought it's so cute of us!!

Awwwwww.

Wait til my graduation is here and ur screwed! XD

Dead baby lappie

2011-04-12T18:24:00.001+08:00

If I don't have a dinner appointment later, I would have just gone home and cry my eyeballs out over my dead laptop. I'm extremely heartbroken.

2011-04-12T16:42:00.000+08:00

I wonder when will I get my first Chanel.

Sigh.

**jealous**

On a second thought,

the Maybank-Moneytree Young Entrepeneur Start-Up Challenge is coming to an end this coming Friday.

............................................

Oh well, the girls and I went for a crazy round of Sushi King RM2 Bonanza

Greetings from our Sushi spree.....!

JoanDee, Janics, Cynthia, Addy, Ivy, Evvon

Peek a Boo!!!

1...2...3....5...8...15..30.....35...

63 plates.

Camwhoring begins.

Pardon the poor quality.

The iPhone 4 front camera is not as good as the one at the back :)

Hehe. The little girl there with an evil grin!

**we are planning to go Langkawi during mid sem break!

62 plates of Sushi all together.

Then we went to Haagen Daaz for the Chocolate Fondue

Indulge. Not an understatement.

Not at all.

Happy girlsss!

Fondue <3<3

Haha. Super syok right? :))

Mmm.. :)

While I was transfering photos from iPhone 4 to pc,

this came along too!

Hello Ming! :))

I know you've got a nice view there.

Stop showing off

Hair washing session

2011-04-12T11:09:00.001+08:00

Not only did we wash Cynthia and Janics's car, we even took turns washing each other's hair too!!

2011-04-10T23:27:00.000+08:00

I just want to blog right now.

I have just downloaded this very cool apps for ringtone maker!

And I've always used it as my general ringtone.

And today, it crossed my mind why didn't I reassigned any ring tone to important 'friend'

And suddenly I remembered.

"Hate that I Love You" Rihanna feat. Ne-Yo.

I'm not into these small stuffs, but someone once did a lot of small and sweet stuffs for me. And that's where I learnt my lesson.

This song still hurts. Til today.

2011-04-10T15:40:00.001+08:00

Good stuffs.

2011-04-09T01:28:00.001+08:00

I could use a wish right now..

Introducing a new found love...

Alexandra..

**credit goes to Evelyn. I saw her using one and I feel in love with it quite immediately.**

It's so beautiful if you touch it with your hands and see it with your eyes.

It may look simple on the outside, but hey, all purses are like that.

But it's more pricey than a Prada.

*thinks hard*

Looks perfectly simple on the outside..

but the inside will blow ur brains out!

This is on the top of my list now!

It's so beautiful

Although not many compartments for cards,

I could still live with it.

Damn.

It's so nice.

I'm very very poor this month.

I'm gonna get this, when I have enough $$.

On a side note, who wants a Keepall when there's Alexandra.

Get an Alexandra first.

Then Galliera

Then Keepall

Ahhh.....!!

2011-04-07T16:05:00.000+08:00

Oh my!

It's been one FULL year since I last saw them!

And they grow up so so fast!

And I miss them!!

They are sooo adorablee!!

My brother stays at this 3 storey house in UK.

When I'm there, I stay on the highest floor and she will be on the 1st floor.

With the children safety gate on the staircase,

she would cup her hands around her mouth and calls out for me

"Ku ku! Ku ku!"

Then my brother would carry her up and dump her on my bed, when I'm still sleeping.

She would then snuggled between my body and arms, and then sleep together with me.

Most of the time, my brother and Audrey have to work from morning to night to morning.

My brother had to work the night shift. I'm all alone with her at home.

Her cot would be against the wall, with one panel down so that she could roll over to my bed, which is directly connected.

Every morning, she'll come over to my bed and wakes me up.

She'll poke my eyes and calls me KU KU!

That's my signal to wake up.

I'll make her milk, then I'll bathe her.

To coax her to bathe, I'll have to say "BUBBLE BATH!!!"

Or else, she won't want to bathe.

After that, I'll bring her down to the first floor,

where she would be in the kitchen with me,

while I prepare myself some food and cook something for her.

Then I'll need to hand wash her clothes.

Then off to either the play room or the TV room.

And she enjoys dancing and giving out kisses.

I would turn on some dance shows, and she would imitate those dancers with her ballerina acts and jumping all around.

She would suddenly climb onto the sofa and pout her lips and she slowly comes nearer to me......to kiss me

That's Katelyn. That's my little niece :)

And when Kris was born, I was there too.

But I had the help of a nanny to take care of Kris, while I deal with Katelyn

When Audrey had to go back Malaysia and my brother had to work.

Kris laughs and drools a lot!

He enjoys sitting on the bumbo chair and just looking at her sister. He was so young that he didn't know how to walk yet.

He mumbles a lot of stuffs. He's always, always smiling

Always a cheerful baby.

He sleeps a lot!!

Now they are both so grown up!

Katelyn can even speak a full sentence already!!

Kuku misses all of you and hope to see you all soon.

Katelyn speaking to daddy,

wondering why cant she see daddy on the phone :)

To quote her, "But that's not Kuku! That's daddy!"

2011-04-05T14:53:00.000+08:00

突然觉得好累。

真的有人珍惜我做了的事吗？

Thank you

2011-04-04T23:32:00.000+08:00

For everything.

It's quite an all over

2011-04-04T15:56:00.000+08:00

We are really all over the campus!

Geez! Should have remained my blonde. I was attending a dinner with my sister and relatives. My brother in law's friend, Chris, couldn't recognize me and asked me if I have another sister apart from June way. This black hair, is funny!!